SMN: Ian Bell - "I don't really want to go to Australia"

While continuing his rehabilitation from his foot injury which has seen him miss out on the current England-Pakistan test series, Ian Bell has surprisingly revealed that he "doesn't really want to" go Down Under for this winter's Ashes tour.


Another ball bounces off Bell during last years Ashes


Bell, who still carries the scars (both mentally and physically) of previous Ashes humiliations, announced to Short Midwicket News that he would prefer to miss out on the tour in order to "have a nice Christmas with the family; play a bit of golf, have a bit of me-time".

Warwickshire batsman Bell, 28, boasts an overall test average of 43 , but this is boosted by his average of 378 against Bangladesh. However, against the fearsome Australians, he averages a measly 8.2. "I still have nightmares" confesses Bell, who is visibly shaken at the mention of Warne and McGrath. "The Aussies have ruined American Pie for me", continued the Sherminator lookalike, who had begun to rock in his chair.

England chairman of selectors Geoff Miller seemed upset that Bell appears set to miss out on his fourth Ashes, but revealed that Bell was only in the team for ethnic reasons. "Belly used to fill the quotas for us; he was our only ginger. But now with Collingwood and Morgan in the side, I see no reason for us to pick him. He really isn't that good", before adding "but what a cover drive".