Wednesday, 4 August 2010

SMN: Alastair Cook joins Twitter, banned from it within 20 minutes

English cricketers have a long and difficult history with Twitter. Tim Bresnan famously told a fan to "fuck off" after calling him fat, Under-19 captain Azeem Rafiq called his coach a "wanker" and Graeme Swann induced a fatwa after insulting ginger people worldwide.

However, despite the incredibly likely negative publicity that being on Twitter will inevitably cause for cricketers, England's cricketers have continued to sign up. Realising that he was the only player to represent England in the last twenty years who is not on Twitter, mild-mannered part-time sheep farmer Alastair Cook braved the new technology by registering for the site.

Under the name AllyCooky26, Cook has already been suspended from the site by the ECB pending a full investigation. Within 20 minutes of his first 'tweet', Cook had called teammate Kevin Pietersen an "arrogant prick", captain Andrew Strauss a "tosser", and sensationally told Jonathan Agnew's dog to "funk off your not even real" (sic).

Andrew Strauss, who has never been on Twitter released a statement saying that he was "surprised" by Cook's behaviour, and warned players from going onto the site, as it is a "bad influence". Following this statement, Short Midwicket News has learned that Matt Prior has signed up, and has already retweeted a Ceci Masters photoshop.

If you want to read more about England players and Twitter, buy the new edition of the Cricket Sadist Quarterly. I'm in it, talking about England players and Twitter.

Also, it's the first time I've sworn on the site, so be nice. I'm surprised it's taken this long.

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