All taken from Jimmy Anderson's twitter feed.
What he said:Had a good day today. Practice this morning and golf this aft. Having a quiet night before our first warm up game tomorrow v Bangladesh.
5:35 PM Apr 27th via txt
What he really meant:Looking forward to playing in the World T20 group games.
What he said: The sea was rough this morning.Hope we play better than we bodysurfed.Tim Bres wasn't great. He ate a lot of sand and he wasn't even hungry
8:38 AM Apr 29th via Tweetie
What he really meant: Bresnan's a thick moron who doesn't deserve to play. I should be in there instead of him
What he said: The highlight of my day was Swanny and Tim Bresnan chasing each other round the dressing room and it ending in tears. #ihatenotplaying
3:55 PM May 4th via Tweetie
What he really meant: Andy Flower - PICK ME!
What he said: Landed in Barbados and it's wet. The banter between Bresnan and Swann continues but it made the flight go quicker....
7:09 PM May 4th via Tweetie
What he really meant: They won't talk to me now I'm not in the team...
What he said: Well if I'm not going to play cricket then might as well play some golf. Going to Apes Hill this aft and I'm looking forward to it!
8:49 AM May 7th via Tweetie
What he really meant: Hello... I'm still in this squad? Any chance of a game?
What he said: Had a good round of golf this aft. Me and Bres took the money off Lumby and Craig K!
3:08 PM May 7th via Tweetie
What he really meant: The South Africans bottled it (again)
What he said: Looks like more golf for me!! At least I'll go home with a tan!
3:58 PM May 8th via Tweetie
What he really meant: Screw you guys. At least I get a free holiday out of all of this...
What he said: Me and Dave Kieswetter took on Colly and Ottis Gibson at Apes Hill today. I shot 1 over and still lost! It was hard handing over the cash!
4:03 PM May 14th via txt
What he really meant: If I'm not going to play in the same team as him, I don't have to learn his name...