Did you like the one about the North Group? Really, didn't you? That's a shame - here's one about the South Group.
Sussex (W8 L2): T20 winning machines - best overall team I've seen this year. Have big hitters, nurdlers, tight bowlers and canny spinners. Will go far.
Essex (W5 L3): Been in tight contests, and have nerve to succeed. Will miss heroics of ten Doeschate, but have compensation in international quality Bopara.
Somerset (W5 L3): Great hitting power of Kies and Tres at top weaked as keeper plays Aussies - but Pollard is a match winner without doubt.
Surrey (W5 L5): Have somehow won despite not being that good. My old mate Jason Roy hits hundred; credits me for feat. Inconsistent.
Hampshire (W4 L4): Amazed to see KP play, not amazed when he announced he's leaving. Lumb yet to hit Caribbean heights but still strong side.
Middlesex (W4 L4): Now will miss match-winners Gilchrist and Morgan, will hope Dexter captains well. Have strong team but threat of shocker lurks. Come on the Middle!
Glamorgan (W4 L4): Tait worried county players but has now left - will look to win it with spin attack.
Kent (W2 L7): After previous T20 successes were tipped to go far but haven't fired. I blame injury of Denly. Very poor.
Gloucestershire (W2 L7): Gladiators yet to hit previous limited over heights, lack of match winners costing them at crucial times. (Probably)
Table correct as of 27th June