A hollow morning at Lord's

That was the most bizarre day of cricket, at any form or level I've ever seen.

Walking from Baker Street tube when St John's Wood is closed is never the most fun of activities, but the crowds on the way to Lord's were deathly quiet. Taking my seat in the Warner Stand, I looked around to see at least ten copies of the News of the World. Hardly the normal paper of choice for frequenters of Lord's. But this was not a normal day.

Pakistan started the day four down and 300 runs behind. They were always going to lose. But the result didn't seem to matter. Umpires Bowden and Hill took to the field. England followed them. Then came Pakistani batsmen Ali and Umar Akmal. Nobody quite knew what to do. The ever polite MCC members clapped them on. Was it tradition? Did they not know the story? The sparse crowds followed suit. I was the only audible boo.

Wickets fell regularly. England barely celebrated. It hardly registered with the crowd. There were a few boo's when Mohammad Amir walked to the crease, and a few people ironically called out no-ball for Jimmy Anderson's deliveries to Amir. He only lasted four balls before departing for a duck. He returned to silence. It may be the last time he ever appears on a cricket field.

All the while England were wrapping up the game and the series, rumours were flying around on Twitter. Salman Butt's done a runner. Gangsters have kidnapped Pakistani players families. Phones have been seized. The England players were trudging around in the field - seemingly shell-shocked. For a side winning so comfortably their behaviour was so unusual. Kevin Pietersen told Michael Vaughan that the news had "hit the players hard". It certainly looked it.

It had certainly hit the crowd hard. I was sat almost in the exact same seat as last year when England beat Australia at Lord's. Flintoff's five-for and all that. The atmosphere that day was spectacular, energy and excitement surging through the crowd. Today was everything but. England were winning, with the same level of impressive performance but there was a very different mood around Lord's.

Umar Akmal made fifty. Extravagant shot followed extravagant shot. All applauded meekly from the galleries. He even put on a fifty partnership with last man Mohammad Asif. Akmal was playing like a man knowing he may never get another chance. If implicated, he may not.

Swann took the last wicket, his fifth in the innings. It's the first time GP Swann will appear on the honours board. He sheepishly raised the ball to the crowd politely acknowledging England's series win. Perhaps Swann realised his name will go directly below Amir's.

The crowd did offer congratulations to England, who simply walked off the pitch. No celebrations. No unconcealed joy. Many of the crowd simply left their seats and went home.

I hung around for a bit, hoping for some gossip. Young autograph hunters were told they were wasting their time - no autographs today. The rumour that Salman Butt didn't even go the ground was gathering momentum. With no sign of a public presentation, I left.

Without wanting to sound cliched I feel cheated. Cricket feels cheated. Days 2 and 3 were the best two days of test cricket, but after last nights revelations, it all feels hollow. Nobody can trust that anything achieved on those days, or this series, or in cricket in general is above board and beyond reproach. People I've spoken to feel angry that the actions of a few can ruin the reputation of a sport. The hope must be that this is the end to revelations. If we are to believe Mazhar Majeed's boasting, this is only the start.

People Are Stupid

I like going to Lord's. I like it even more when I don't have to pay to go. And I like it better when I get paid to go.

After my work (in which I heard England collapse from an office), I get to pick a seat and watch. Today I picked the Mound Stand. Yesterday it was the Edrich. I also like this.

However, the drawback of sitting in the stands is that I have to listen to people nearby. The commoners. The plebs.

Stuart Broad has been hampered his whole career by being called Chris. For those who watched his dad, calling StuBro Chris happens every now-and-again; a slip of the tongue. Fair enough. What isn't fair enough is continually calling him Chris. Broady Jr has been playing internationally for four years now. How hard is it to learn the name of a World Cup and Ashes winning staple in the side.

Misinformed opinions often grace the stands. A group of five lads who clearly know their cricket were sitting next to me discussing spinners. (Not Shane Warne's pants, actual tweakers). 4 of the 5 would pick Monty Panesar over Graeme Swann. Really? One opined that Swann's (who made a duck) batting wasn't as good as Monty's, who batted well at Cardiff. Seriously?

And don't even get me started on "Tony" who texted into the big screen saying that Anderson could "swing the Effiel Tower"...

Why KP should move to Middlesex

Yesterday Kevin Pietersen announced he was leaving Hampshire. Some members were shocked – they had no idea that KP played for Hampshire. Despite an illustrious record of one first-class game since his England debut, KP has had to make the emotional decision to leave his first love Hampshire. Or was it Notts? Or was it KwaZulu Natal? Anyway, I think KP should sign for Middlesex. And this is why.


Why not?

Let’s face it, he won’t play. Other than the occasional ECB directed t20 game, KP will not don the pink of Middlesex. But Middlesex might as well get him on the books for those occasional t20 games, purely to stop Scott Newman playing.


He’s free

KP will not cost any one anything. As a centrally contracted player, Giles Clarke will be keeping the Pietersen family in nappies and Oakley sunglasses for the foreseeable future. And if Middlesex sign him, they’ll be able to flog loads of KP related tat, and use him to publicise fixtures (a la Gilly and Warner this year).


It's close

The only reason KP didn’t want to play for Hampshire was that it was too far away from Chelsea. So he should go and play for the closest county to Chelsea. Which is (nearly) Middlesex.


He shouldn’t play for Surrey

Because Surrey are rubbish. Just forget about last night.


The lunches at Lord’s are good

Another bonus.


The pink kit’s cool

And he get’s to high-five cricket’s leading mascot, Pinky the Panther. And who doesn’t want to do that?


Excellent crèche facilities

Probably.


But the reason he’ll definitely move…
He can wander around Lord’s pretending to be England captain again

And who amongst us hasn’t done that?

How good is Tamim Iqbal?

England saw signs of how good Tamim was out in the Desh, but today the world saw it. To make a better-than-run-a-ball century, at Lord's, irregardless of country, is a spectacular event, as seen by the long standing ovation Tamim received when he finally fell for one big shot too many. While naysayers can say England didn't bowl well or that they should have played a five man attack (or Broad), cricket must stand an applaud a fantastic achievement from the 21 year old.

Tamim is the shining light of the Bangladesh team, which begs the question of how good can he be? He will undoubtably be the best Deshi player over the next 5ish years, but on the basis of that innings, he could fit his way into any test team in the world. It was a Sehwag-esque innings, and that's no exaggeration.

Bangladesh may well lose this test match, and will probably lose the next one as well, but Tamim's reputation and confidence will have been enhanced by what was one of the best test innings Lord's has ever seen. Take a bow, son.

New Ball Blues

Tim Bresnan's been called many things in his time. Portly. Roly-poly. Tubby. Fat. Carrying some timber. But England's new ball bowler shouldn't be one of them.

Steven Finn has been picked for this test ahead of Stuart Broad in order to give the young Watfordian some test match experience, ahead of the Ashes this winter. Fair enough. But surely England see Finn as an opening bowler, with his pace and height being perfect for when the ball's at it's hardest. So why isn't Finn bowling first up against the Desh?

The powers that be are trying to be nice to Jimmy Anderson after not playing him in the World T20; making sure he bowls the most, and gets to choose what end he would like. And as England's leader of the attack, Anderson is well within his right to pick the Pavilion End to have his first hurl from. Much has been made of Finn's reluctance to bowl from the Nursery End, but Andrew Strauss should have given him two words if he complained. Man up.

If the selectors want to give Finn test match experience, the best experience for him will be bowling from an 'unfamiliar' end (or as unfamiliar as an end can be at one's own ground). Evidently, it was decided that Finn shouldn't have the new-ball from the Nursery End, so Bresnan got to have his go.

While Bresnan's stock has risen in the England team on the back of a successful tour of Bangladesh, and winning the World T20, he won't be England's new ball bowler on the first morning at Brisbane. Put simply, he is not an international new ball bowler. Despite experimentation, it's been decided that Broad is not either. Barring an incredibly unlikely return for Steve Harmison, the honour of sharing the cherry with Anderson will be a straight shoot-out between Finn and Graham Onions. A Graham Onions who won't have played much cricket. And a Steven Finn who won't have done much new ball bowling for England.

Surely it would make sense for Finn to take the new ball, regardless of end until the end of the summer, so his discovery of experience is extended further. If England are using this Bangladesh series as a way of formulating plans for this winter, (which the resting of Broad and Collingwood certainly suggests), it would certainly make sense Strauss to throw Finn the ball first. And if Finn bowls as well as he did in the first innings, he's going to earn his place on merit (and not just because others have been rested).

Election Update - Day One

From our political correspondent Neil Bymouth:

All three political parties began their election campaigns today, and with ten days to the most eagerly anticipated election ever, each party were working hard to try and gain the public's votes.

Conservative leader Andrew Strauss used his position as England captain to launch his campaign at Lord's today, with his election manifesto guaranteeing two drawn test matches at HQ every year. Strauss claimed that "test matches at Lord's are the most special around, and are the biggest money spinner for the ECB. Therefore it is imperative that we hold two tests here every year, and that the pitch is prepared in a way that makes a three or four day result impossible". Strauss also called for less Twenty20 games, as "my talents are not suited to that format".

Andrew Strauss launched the Conservative election campaign at Lord's

However, the first signs of fracture between the two main political parties was seen when Labour leader Paul Collingwood attempted to gain access to the pavilion for his press conference as "I'm England captain and all". Things soon degenerated into a slanging match, when junior Conservative member Ian Bell shouted "you're only Twenty20 captain nowadays Colly". Luckily, before any further attacks, Collingwood was ushered out of the pavilion as he was not wearing a correct MCC regulation tie. After finding solace in the Middlesex office, Collingwood made clear that defence was his priority, and argued "we wouldn't be in a mess overseas if we had adopted my defensive stance much earlier".

In a much quieter press conference at Chelmsford, Alastair Cook began the Liberal Democrats campaign with the bold promise that he has "no intentions" of taking the Prime Ministership at this stage, as it is "currently not my position". When presented with an earlier quote where he claimed that he was "desparate" to become leader, Cook diplomatically said that "I was happy to lead in Bangladesh, but ultimately I have had to hand power back over. It is something I want to do in the past, but not at this stage".

The three main parties have all launched their elections, and will tomorrow begin on the campaign trail trying to garner votes. With the election in only 10 days time, there isn't long for Collingwood, Strauss and Cook to gain public support, and their task will be made harder with tomorrow's launch of the UKIP and Green campaigns.

Neil Bymouth reporting for the Short Third Man.

If you love it...

As I walked through the pavilion at Lord's yesterday (I know, place dropper) for the first day of the County Championship game between Middlesex and Glamorgan, the first thing I saw was an advertising hoarding for the sponsors of the Championship saying "If you love it, LV it". While the purpose of the advert was to attract people to their insurance company, it made me think of my personal thoughts regarding the four day game. I have long been a champion of the First Class game, but yesterday was the first time I have ever been to a LVCC game. Previously I would just look on Cricinfo or the BBC Sport website to find out the scores, and occasionally watch the day's highlights via the Middlesex website. But even though I was a Middlesex member, I had never got around to actually going and watching a game.

However, partly because it was the first game at Lord's of the season, and partly because I had agreed to meet Suave as part of his season in the stands off I went to the home of cricket, not really knowing what to expect. For the day itself, I thoroughly enjoyed Suave's company, the cricket itself, and my highlight; going up to the Media Centre at the end.

Seeing the LV advert at the start of the day stayed with me as I reflected on the day. And I came up with this; I do love the County Championship. I do love going and sitting in the pavilion at Lord's. I do love watching good cricket. The opening bowling partnership of Murtagh and Steven Finn wouldn't look too out of place representing England, and there were further internationals in Iain O'Brien and Shaun Udal who later bowled. And standing in the slips was the England captain. I will definitely go back for more LVCC games in the summer (when times allows), as well as the FPt20s and CB40 games. I will also endeavour to write more about the county game rather than "Oh, Middlesex lost" or "Steven Finn took 9/37". So if you're not a fan of the county game, unlucky. A new blog is coming up. Sorry.

Last Week's Poll - Who do you want to go to an old-skool disco with?

In honour of the Kingfisher IPL advert, this week's poll was asking which cricketer you would like to go to an old-skool disco with. While there was a late surge for Dan Vettori and David Warner, the person who you elected to go out with was Graeme Swann, with a massive 57% of the vote. Just make sure you have a designated driver with you.

As it is the first county game at Lord's tomorrow (which I will be going to), I am asking what is the most innappropriate thing for me to do at the home of cricket. The poll, as always, is on the sidebar.