Cricket Election - We have a winner!

After a hard fought campaign, and a close ballot, the Short Third Man is pleased to announce that Andrew Strauss (MP for Middlesex) has been declared winner of the Cricket Election. With a clear overall majority, Strauss assumes the role for his Conservative party (unlike real-life David Cameron, who has to wait).

The Short Third Man would like to thank all who voted, and contributed throughout the cricket election experiment. (Don't worry, I'll never speak of it again).



Strauss celebrates his victory outside 10 Downing Street

For more reaction to the Cricket Election, read this.

Cricket Election - Over to You

From Chief Political Correspondent Michael Lesser

The wait is over. The polls are open. After a long campaign trail, there is nothing more that the three political parties can do. The Short Third Man Cricket Election 2010 will run for the next 24 hours, until a cricket Prime Minister is declared. One of Alastair Cook (Liberal Democrat), Andrew Strauss (Conservative) and Paul Collingwood (Labour) will be named as Prime Minister, and will assume their role as of tomorrow.

Good luck to all candidates.

Election Update - Television Debate

From our political correspondent Neil Bymouth

Last night's television debate saw the first time the leaders of the three main political parties met and argued their respective policies in front of a live audience at Trent Bridge. Despite a movement for their inclusion, Angus Fraser and Robert Croft of the SNP and Plaid Cymru respectively were not invited to participate.

Much of the debate was taken up with the issue of Twenty20. All leaders recognised the potential of the market, although Strauss put forward the Conservative policy of reduced Twenty20 over the next 4 years, before a total end to the format by 2015. Alastair Cook pushed for further international Twenty20s, but thought that the domestic competition was too long. Labour leader, and England Twenty20 captain Paul Collingwood agreed with Cook that there should be more international Twenty20s, as well as a longer IPL and a longer domestic Twenty20 Cup.

However, when Strauss suggested that he was in favour of the format "as long as there is no over restriction, and the players must play in white" led to fervent political pointscoring, and it wasn't long before Cook and Collingwood's misdemeanours were were ridiculed by Strauss. However, Strauss' apparent smug attitude lead to him losing the public perception polls, with Cook taking an astonishing majority as the cricketing public felt that they could not connect with the gritty, determined Collingwood.

The three candidates now have a further week of electioneering ahead as they campaign for the public's votes. While Cook held a lead during the debate, all three candidates appear to be very evenly matched, with only a few votes either way likely to decide the result.

The Short Third Man's cricket election will be held on Thursday May 6th. For more information, click here

Election Update - Day Three

By junior political correspondent Al Creditto:

The three main political parties were gearing up for their live TV debate tomorrow night, but the issue of political bias was brought up by the leaders of the Scottish National Party and Plaid Cymru.

After being removed from the mainstream Short Third Man candidate list, SNP leader Angus Fraser claimed that "on behalf of the Scottish National Party I must protest in the strongest possible terms that The Short Third Man are not giving any coverage to the campaign in Scotland, and my celtic colleague Robert Croft would say the same if he were able to use a computer!".

Taking time out from his campaign in Durham, Labour leader Paul Collingwood was sympathetic to the SNP and Plaid Cymru's plight, saying that "British cricket politics is open to allowing Scottish and Welsh involvement". However, after leaving his mic attached post interview; in an apparently off-the-record remark, Collingwood muttered "Scotland have nothing to do with anything. They didn't even qualify for the World T20. Even Afghanistan managed that". Collingwood's xenophobic remarks have angered the Scottish people, and he appears to have alienated voters from north of the border.

He joins Liberal Democrat leader Alastair Cook in trying to limit the damage of the past few days; where Cook was revealed to be assisting Conservative leader Andrew Strauss with his campaign. While both his opponents were battling both negative media and their own party, Strauss himself was out canvassing for votes from the Gloucestershire constituency.

Preparations are under way for tomorrow's TV debate, and it is yet unclear whether the SNP or Plaid Cymru will participate.

The Short Third Man's cricket election will be held on Thursday May 6th. For more information, click here

Election Update - Day Two

From our political correspondent Toby Fair:

The Liberal Democrats' election campaign was thrown into chaos as it emerged that leader Alastair Cook was leading the Conservative campaign when Andrew Strauss was taking breaks. An unnamed Conservative source revealed to the Short Third Man that "Cooky would take over for 5-10 minutes while Straussy was in the toilet or changing a shirt". Neither Strauss or Cook have been available to comment, as they were both busy meeting their local constituents in Middlesex and Essex respectively.

Labour spokesman Ryan Sidebottom says that "this shows the lack of direction from both the Conservative and Liberal Democrat parties. As such, only Paul Collingwood can offer a firm hand on British cricket".

Cook is said to be rapidly losing the support of his Liberal Democrat party, with Stuart Broad being primed to take over if he resigns his position.

The Short Third Man's cricket election will be held on Thursday May 6th. For more information, click here

Election Update - Day One

From our political correspondent Neil Bymouth:

All three political parties began their election campaigns today, and with ten days to the most eagerly anticipated election ever, each party were working hard to try and gain the public's votes.

Conservative leader Andrew Strauss used his position as England captain to launch his campaign at Lord's today, with his election manifesto guaranteeing two drawn test matches at HQ every year. Strauss claimed that "test matches at Lord's are the most special around, and are the biggest money spinner for the ECB. Therefore it is imperative that we hold two tests here every year, and that the pitch is prepared in a way that makes a three or four day result impossible". Strauss also called for less Twenty20 games, as "my talents are not suited to that format".

Andrew Strauss launched the Conservative election campaign at Lord's

However, the first signs of fracture between the two main political parties was seen when Labour leader Paul Collingwood attempted to gain access to the pavilion for his press conference as "I'm England captain and all". Things soon degenerated into a slanging match, when junior Conservative member Ian Bell shouted "you're only Twenty20 captain nowadays Colly". Luckily, before any further attacks, Collingwood was ushered out of the pavilion as he was not wearing a correct MCC regulation tie. After finding solace in the Middlesex office, Collingwood made clear that defence was his priority, and argued "we wouldn't be in a mess overseas if we had adopted my defensive stance much earlier".

In a much quieter press conference at Chelmsford, Alastair Cook began the Liberal Democrats campaign with the bold promise that he has "no intentions" of taking the Prime Ministership at this stage, as it is "currently not my position". When presented with an earlier quote where he claimed that he was "desparate" to become leader, Cook diplomatically said that "I was happy to lead in Bangladesh, but ultimately I have had to hand power back over. It is something I want to do in the past, but not at this stage".

The three main parties have all launched their elections, and will tomorrow begin on the campaign trail trying to garner votes. With the election in only 10 days time, there isn't long for Collingwood, Strauss and Cook to gain public support, and their task will be made harder with tomorrow's launch of the UKIP and Green campaigns.

Neil Bymouth reporting for the Short Third Man.

Meet the Candidates

Labour: Paul Collingwood.
Northern, gritty, determined; Collingwood embodies everything Labour stands for. Even when it appears that all is lost, Collingwood just keeps on fighting. His best years are perhaps behind him, but he still has a lot to offer. As a person, Collingwood is maybe better as part of a team, as he has had mixed results as leader. Not overall popular, but he is well-liked by many.

Conservative: Andrew Strauss.
From a privileged upbringing, Strauss has the air of upper-class about him, although he does try to connect with the people. Strauss favours his fellow educated elite, but is widely supported by those below him, with his strong leadership qualities to be admired.

Liberal Democrats: Alastair Cook
Cook is well-spoken and sophisticated, but is unlikely to get the top job any time soon. Could well reach the number one position in the future if the balance of power shifts his way when others retire. Has seen a recent upsurge in popularity following recent foreign policy success.


Only candidates from the three main parties will run in the election. They will each have a supporting group of ministers from the England team based purely on who I guess they would vote for, based on no knowledge or political intelligence at all.

The Cricketing Election

Imagine a world where cricket is the only political agenda. Televised debates are replaced with Adam Leventhal interviews; campaigning amongst the people is replaced with autograph sessions and there is rolling 24-hour news coverage of every England net session. Imagine no longer, as here at The Short Third Man, there is such a place.

In the countdown to next week's British general election, I will be bringing you party political broadcasts from each of the main political parties, all of whom are represented by cricketers. At the end of the week I will hold a special election night vote on the site, where you can decide who wins the cricket election.

Stick around, it should be a laugh.