A proud day for England

England yesterday played one of their old foes. Luckily, after previous disappointments and embarrassments, England managed to sneak over the line (no pun intended), and will look to build on this success in the forthcoming few days and weeks. Sadly, I am not talking about the football (I write about that somewhere else) but the cricket, where England have beaten Australia incredibly comfortably (safe for the closing few overs yesterday).

Sadly, due to other engagements (pesky exams) I haven't actually watched any of the cricket, and due to yesterday's disappointment I actually forgot that the 'other' match was on. However, while it does not really compare, we shouldn't forget the achievements of Strauss et al, and celebrate that. If only so we can forget the misacheivements of the other England team.

Last Week's Poll - Which cricketer has the fattest arse?

For no real reason, last week I asked which cricketer had the largest arse. I picked a shortlist (or widelist) of six, with five current players, and perhaps harshly, former player Mike Gatting. As a now retired player, it's only right that Gatt won (or lost, depending on how you look at it) with a landslide 62%, mainly because he spends much of his time sitting on his wide posterior.

Insurance v Beer

For this One Day international series, England are sponsored by Brit Insurance. Australia are sponsored by Victoria Bitter. England have played safe, solid dependable, profitable cricket. Australia have started with a bit of fizz, but has ultimately had a bad taste and ended flat. England have won the series after only three games. Moral of the story? Drink cider. It's much nicer.

Twenty20 in 20 Words - South Group

Did you like the one about the North Group? Really, didn't you? That's a shame - here's one about the South Group.

Sussex (W8 L2): T20 winning machines - best overall team I've seen this year. Have big hitters, nurdlers, tight bowlers and canny spinners. Will go far.

Essex (W5 L3): Been in tight contests, and have nerve to succeed. Will miss heroics of ten Doeschate, but have compensation in international quality Bopara.

Somerset (W5 L3): Great hitting power of Kies and Tres at top weaked as keeper plays Aussies - but Pollard is a match winner without doubt.

Surrey (W5 L5): Have somehow won despite not being that good. My old mate Jason Roy hits hundred; credits me for feat. Inconsistent.

Hampshire (W4 L4): Amazed to see KP play, not amazed when he announced he's leaving. Lumb yet to hit Caribbean heights but still strong side.

Middlesex (W4 L4): Now will miss match-winners Gilchrist and Morgan, will hope Dexter captains well. Have strong team but threat of shocker lurks. Come on the Middle!

Glamorgan (W4 L4): Tait worried county players but has now left - will look to win it with spin attack.

Kent (W2 L7): After previous T20 successes were tipped to go far but haven't fired. I blame injury of Denly. Very poor.

Gloucestershire (W2 L7): Gladiators yet to hit previous limited over heights, lack of match winners costing them at crucial times. (Probably)


Table correct as of 27th June

Twenty20 in 20 words - North Group

So here we are, at the halfway stage of the FPt20 groups. Yes, it's been constant every day cricket for the last month, but we are only half way. So purely to take my mind of the other big game of the day, here's each county team's T20 campaign so far. In 20 words.

North Group

Notts (W7 L1): Fired by Nannes and Hussey, have strength throughout. Should make quarters easily; perhaps even trip to Rose Bowl?

Lancashire (W5 L3): Quietly useful side missing international attack. Will miss Katich but could have enough wins already to progress further.

Warwickshire (W5 L3): Very strong team with great new ball attack. Luckily better than awful kit suggests. Woakes FTW.

Yorkshire(W5 L4): Have mix with experience and a youthful captain. Just need to check registration of players.

Derbyshire (W4 L4): Unglamorous, but inconsistent. Have powerful middle order hitters, but will need a bit of luck if they are to progress.

Northants (W4 L5): Team without many flair players but very capable. Have missed Sehwag (haven't we all), but not out of running.

Durham (W3 L6): Disappointing start for County Champions; possibly strongest batting line up compromised by weakened attack leaking runs. Pity.

Leicestershire (W3 L5): Prodigious Taylor keeping them together, captain Hoggard's unorthodoxy can be both a help and a hindrance. Doubtful to qualify.

Worcestershire (W2 L6): Winter departure of key players left poor squad, will need to rally spectacularly just to save face at this stage.

Table correct as of June 27

From the computer of Giles Clarke...

(September 2009)

From Giles Clarke: giles.clarke@ecb.co.uk
to Anne Ecbaccountant: accountant@ecb.co.uk

Giles here

Quick question - which touring country has brought in the most money? Am up for another seven match ODI series so I can afford to buy Allen Stanford's stadium in the police auction.

Thanks

Clarkey



From Anne Ecbaccountant: accountant@ecb.co.uk
to Giles Clarke: giles.clarke@ecb.co.uk

Hi Giles

The most lucrative country to tour is Australia. However, you shouldn't hold another seven match series, we've just had one against them, remember? Won't cricketers, fans and pundits be really bored of another one-sided series against Australia, (especially ahead of us going Down Under next year) and without the slight compensation of an Ashes series surely people will only resent the idea of having a series and will only see it as a money-making tool?

Anne



From Giles Clarke: giles.clarke@ecb.co.uk
to Anne Ecbaccountant: accountant@ecb.co.uk

Nah, we'll get the MCC to sponsor it, and call it the 'Spirit of Cricket' series, and nobody will realise. Scratch that - get NatWest to sponsor it as well.

Giles.

Last Week's Poll - Which cricketer would make the best footballer?

As it's the World Cup, I asked which cricketer would make the best footballer. After thinking long and hard, I came up with a list of cricketers who have the required qualities for a footballer; athleticsm, gracefulness and steely determination. Unsurprisingly, you judged AB de Villiers to be the one of the list who has those qualities, with 42% of you picking him to be your chosen cricketer-as-footballer. However, after watching Middlesex yesterday, I can tell you that you're all wrong, as Steve Finn has the skills to pay the bills. And that Pedro Collins is cack in goal.