After reading the Cricinfo expose about Adrian Shankar (go ahead and read it - it's great) it appears that Worcestershire have based their recruitment policy on who can write the best covering letter. So now there's a hole in their squad, I've sent this to see if they can fulfil my county dream...
Dear Worcestershire CCC
I've heard that you are in need of an all-rounder, and I'm the man you'll want to pick. I have the rainbow of talents, and will be an excellent addition to your squad.
I played in the same high school team as Sachin Tendulkar, where I captained the first eleven at the age of 14. Sachin, who is a close personal friend of mine, says that I am his "inspiration", and "taught him everything he knows". After outscoring him regularly, we went out separate ways, although I still do help him prepare for test matches by batting alongside him in the nets.
My own playing career has seen me play 53 First Class matches, with a batting average of 86 and a bowling average of 8. I've spent the past few years playing in the notoriously difficult Bangladeshi Premier League, but after a few years turning out for Chittagong, I want a return to my spiritual homeland of Worcestershire.
Despite going to school with 38 year old Sachin Tendulkar, I can confirm that I am currently only 21 years old. However, my passport and birth certificate were destroyed in a tragic fire where I had to save some orphans from a pet rescue centre by bowling really, really fast, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Here are some references just in case you aren't convinced.
"He's just what the doctor ordered" - Ravi Shastri
"Will Atkins is the reason I took up cricket" - Don Bradman
"I feel as though I've lived my life in his shadow" - Shane Warne
"Will Atkins is to cricket what Danny Morrison is to commentary" - Muttiah Muralitheran
Thanks for taking the time to read my letter. I'll assume you're going to take me on, so I'll turn up at training on Monday.